If you have been following me lately, you know I am in a determined state. In my groups, I have said this IS the Summer to Shift. I have decided no more of the limiting, small, beliefs that have kept me stuck (why did I let them keep my stuck) and have taken on so many cool practices. I started with a "No Suffering" practice. Then, I flowed into an "Is this love?" practice. As I was doing all of this, I start meditating morning and night (ok, sometimes, only one of those, sometimes none, but a heck of a lot more than I was before). And, now... I have come back to the cornerstone - TRUST.
Do you know what Amina means? Trustworthy. One who can be trusted... and, now this Amina, is working on being one that TRUSTs.
This August, in Adventures with Amina, we are going to be discussing an amazing book by my dear friend, Akshay Nanavati, called Fearvana. This book is the real deal, y'all. If you have not gotten it yet, check it out. Akshay did a great job explaining how our brain works, and most importantly, how you can change your brain. One of the big things that came up in this book is the pause between your animal brain's response to fear and your human (higher functioning) brain's use of logic. That pause. That is what meditation is for. That is what prayer is for. That is really what, I think, all spiritual practice is about. It is about catching that pause. Lately, I have been able to do it. I really credit the "No Suffering" practice for upping my awareness of this pause. Lately, I have gotten to the point where I can see the moment of pause. That's where today's topic comes in.
I got to this place of noticing the pause, but then, almost did not know what to do. I know I need to change the pattern, think a different thought, be happier, etc. But, how? I was freaking out and suffering and now, I am experiencing the pause, but still having the feelings. And, that is where gratitude comes in. I would just start chanting, Alhumdulillah. In Arabic, Alhumdulillah is translated as, All praise is to God. It is amazing how just using this one word in a moment of pause can create an automatic shift. There is something about the word and the sound itself, the sound of hamd, which is praise (adoring gratitude) that is just calming. There was a study done once on using a mantra during meditation, they found that any sound repeated could get you into a meditative state, even the word, hamburger. I find that the word, alhumdulillah, gets me there pretty quickly.
The next tool in the process has revelated itself. What I find even more amazing is what happens after I spend a moment in a state of Alhumdulillah. Next, guidance comes in. I seem to calm into a state of knowing what to do next. It is usually not anything difficult and an easy solution. And, I am left in awe, as to how easy life can be when we are in the flow. When we are fully trusting that this moment, like every other moment, is perfectly divine. I seem to calmly know what to do all of a sudden. All the time. I just know what to do. And, when I don't know what to do and start to feel that frenzied feeling, I go through the process:
1. Am I choosing to suffer? Can I decide to not suffer?
2. Is what is happening love or not love?
3. I am now fully in the state of Pause.
5. Guidance, ease, simplicity and flow.
I invite you to try it too! Look at my last few blog posts (which I referenced in this post) to watch my progression. I have to tell you all, it has been easier than I would have imagined. The hardest part is realizing I am suffering (sometimes, I suffer for hours before I am aware I am doing it). And, join us this month in Adventures with Amina to befriend our fear. I am loving everything Akshay is sharing about Fear and how we react when it shows up. It is perfectly timed with my personal life experience. There is just not much to fear and when we are in fear, it is a such a delicious opportunity to see how we think and make a new choice!
I am a big believer in flow. I know there is a sweet spot where life gets so easy and things just happen, I call this place flow. In the past, I have noticed that I naturally go into a state of flow and then somehow come out of flow. I have always assumed this is just part of flow - sometimes you are in it and sometimes you are not. However, over the last few weeks as I have worked on using my will power to decide not to suffer, I notice that I am in a new type of flow... an easy flow.
In the past, I have easily been in flow, but it has felt exciting and cool. I am able to get things I just thought about with no effort; they magnetize into my life. However, lately, I have noticed that there is another type of flow that is even easier, it is simply being in the moment, without suffering and either giving or receiving love. Life gets very easy when we a) get present b) decide not to take anything too seriously (i.e., not suffer) and c) show up to either give love or receive the love that is coming towards us. It is a very simple, amazingly powerful, practice. It is my new definition of a practice with flow.
In each moment, after you have become completely present and you have decided not to suffer (read my blog post, but basically, you are stopping the story in your mind that is narrating what is happening and how it is terrible), you simply ask yourself, "is this love?". In that moment, you become aware of whether or not your behavior or the other person/people's behavior is aligned with love. If it is, you simply enjoy (savor) the moment. If it is not, you do nothing. If you are in a situation which is not aligned with love, or you are about to act in a moment, when you are not aligned with love, the best thing to do is to completely STOP and find your own way back to love. Love is a place within you. It is place of incredible power. It is a never-ending source and supply of peace and joy. And, if you are about to take an action or react to another person's action, from anyplace other than Love, nothing good will come of it. So, just stop and ask yourself, "what do I need to do right now to re-align with love?" What I noticed from my practice, is just asking that question usually re-aligns me with love.
I have noticed that I and many of the people I talk to spend a lot of time thinking about, reacting to, analyzing other people's actions and deciding what we need to do about it. I have also noticed, that the people around me spend a lot of time giving me love, but sometimes, I don't understand that is what they are doing. Imagine if you couldn't stand peanut butter and someone offered you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich everyday. We immediately think that is annoying, because "they should know" I don't like peanut butter. But in reality, they love peanut butter, and from a place of love, they are offering you the thing they love. What would our lives be like if we just noticed the love behind the gesture? Instead of reacting to the behavior, ask yourself, is this love? If the answer is yes, then return the love. You don't have to eat the sandwich, but you can appreciate the person for the love they are offering. It's like when your cat offers you a half dead mouse or bird... is this love? I personally do not enjoy the experience of being offered a half dead bird, but I can see the intent behind it. What would it be like if we really became aware to what was being offered to us in every moment?
This is a newer practice I have been doing, but so far, I am blown away by how much love has been offered to me. A friend of ours bought fireworks because they thought my niece and nephew were coming to visit. I have been offered to go on a trip to Mexico and Greece. Another person has offered to design a t-shirt for me. The list just goes on and on... it is all love. I am offered so much love every.single.day. And, now that I am "seeing" it, I see it has always been this way for me. I think of all the guys I dated that were not enough this, or too much that, and I think, wow, I missed so many offerings of love.
This month, I invite you to join me. Grab your favorite pair of love goggles and put them on and start noticing what love offers you receive. Just notice the love that already exists. Whether it is concert tickets to your favorite band, or a half eaten bird by your cat, notice the love behind the offering. And, at the same time, notice your reactions. Notice when you suffer and need to "defend" yourself. Notice, am I in a state of love right now? If the answer is no, PAUSE. There is nothing more powerful than the PAUSE. Just hit PAUSE and wait. Take a breath. Take a walk. Watch the sunset. Re-connect to love. Then address the situation. You will notice that when you address a situation from a place of love, you are more honest, more direct, more kind, and more clear. Love is not a doormat. Love is a powerful force. And, using love to navigate life puts you in the relaxing, peaceful state of flow.
I hope you join me in this practice of giving and receiving love. The goal is to always be doing one or the other of those activities. And, as with everything we do, it is a practice. Celebrate each time you PAUSE before sending the text or PAUSE before opening your mouth and asked instead, "WWLD" - What would love do?
"I just want to knnnooowww", I find myself saying, often, in a whiny voice. I really just want to know. Why is that so hard? I want to know if it is going to rain tomorrow, so I can decide what I want to do. I want to know who will be at the event, so I can decide what I need to prepare. I just want to know. I don't feel like this is too much to ask for. And, I feel like it is so normal to want to know, to plan, and honestly, to control.
Then, I read something that stopped me cold in my tracks. Wanting to know. Wanting to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. I started to reflect on the story of Adam. Adam, in Heaven, in perfection, not in need of anything, in perfect bliss, and then a little voice whispered, "yeah, this is good, but want to see how it can be better? All you have to do is know what you don't know now and then you will actually be happy." Wow. That kind of sounds like me. I am perfectly happy, content, and life is good, and then something happens, not a big something, a little something, and I just "have to know" what I don't know now. Isn't this such a part of the human predicament? Wanting to know.
When I started to see the connection to Adam, being in Heaven (perfect peace, perfect bliss) and the Tree of Knowledge, I started to understand exactly how detrimental it is to our Soul to "just want to know." When we say, "we just want to know", what we are actually saying is, that we do not trust in the perfection of God's plan for us in this moment. We are pulling ourselves out of Heaven and in essence, creating our own Hell. Because, when you just want to know how the story is going to end, and you cannot, no matter what you do, it is a form of hell. And, this may just be the whole purpose of life. I am not sure... haven't gotten that far, I am still blown away by the desire to want to know. What if the purpose of life was to trust that every interaction, every experience, every moment was perfect in its creation and execution? What if we believed that we are actually in a state of Heaven right now or at least can be in that state in our mind, right now?
The last few weeks I have been practicing non-suffering. Regardless of what happens, I have chosen not to suffer. And, y'all, some not so fun things have happened. Just earlier today, I shed a few tears when someone "blew me off" (in my perception) instead of embraced and welcomed me. But, as I allowed myself a moment to feel the feelings, I reminded myself, I don't have to tell this story. I don't have to suffer. As you all know, and would tell me if you were in front of me, maybe she x or maybe y, but probably not "blew you off", and that could be my truth, if I want to choose to be happy. And, I do want to choose to be happy. In truth, I will never know. No matter what I do, I will not know if she was blowing me off or if I just happened to catch her at an odd moment. I will not know. I cannot know. And, then the question becomes, can I be happy without knowing? Will I choose the story that brings me grief or the story that uplifts me? And, most importantly, can I, in this moment, remember who I really am and know that no matter what I experience with another person, it does not, will not, and cannot change who I am fundamentally - a beautiful, loving, creation of God.
Next time, you find yourself saying, "I just want to know". Try this practice instead and see how it feels"
1. I do know. I know that I am always guided to the best possible path for my greatest soul development and the greatest soul development of everyone around me. I welcome the next step in my journey.
2. I will not choose suffering. I will not create stories that hurt me. I will choose to tell the true story, the story that reminds me of the truth of myself.
3. I know what experience I want to create. I want to create the experience of connection, of love, of joy and of peace. I know that my intention to create this experience will lead me the people, places, and events that will support this part of my journey.
I find for me, this practice helps me breathe a little easier and releases the grip of "needing to know" and especially, "needing to know, right now!". It helps me float into the space of pure faith and trust in the Higher Power. The place where I know what I need to know, that this can be as good as I am willing to allow it to be.
I love Anita Moorjani and her recent book, What if this is Heaven, is phenomenal. It talks about how every life experience can be seen through the eyes of perfection. What if we let the power that turned the acorn into an Oak Tree and an embryo into a baby be in charge of our lives? What if we let that All-Knowing power decide if what is happening (or what will happen) is for our best, instead of planning, organizing and determining. What would you do with all that free time of not worrying, planning, or scheming to control a future, that you never had the ability to control, no matter how wonderful, brilliant, hard working and dedicated you are? I have been writing more. Another chapter for a book, blog posts, and new stories about my life. It is amazing what we can use our creative energy to do when we are not busy trying to "know".
When I was younger, I marked new years by each Ramadan. I have always been a huge fan of this month for lots of reasons. Of course, there is all of the benefits that Muslims believe occur during the month with added prayers, added giving, and of course, fasting to keep God first and foremost in your mind. Then, there is all the community activities. Large community dinners with friends and late evening prayers at the Masjid (Mosque). I love all of these things, but what I loved the most, is the 30 day renewal aspect of the month.
Each Ramadan, for as long as I can remember, I took on a 30 day experiment. Any of you who are familiar with me, know that I am a big fan of applying concepts in a real way for at least 30 days to see if they work. I was no different as a kid. Growing up in America, I sort of borrowed a practice from Lent and added it to Ramadan, each year, I would "give up" one thing for the month. Instead of items like food, since we were fasting, that was pretty much already being given up, I would give up a "bad" habit each year.
I gave up talking about people behind their back, added giving $5 away each day to a homeless person so someone could eat the meal I was not eating (this was back in the day where $5 bought you a good meal), added saying all the prayers (there are the obligatory ones and then a bunch of bonus ones), genuinely complimented someone for something they are great at each day, and my personal favorite, gave up any type of lying for 30 days. Now, I would not say I lie. At least, I would not have said that, until I gave it up for 30 days. There was a lot of telling people, I could not make it to an event because of some reason, that was, well, not entirely true. This was huge for me. I realized how hard it was for me to say no, without an explanation, and usually a somewhat made up explanation based loosely of facts.
This year for Ramadan, I have decided to give up suffering. This is the new radical concept I am working with right now in life and I have found that it is bringing me a lot of peace and also bringing up a lot of other supporting behaviors that I have been doing that need to gently be shifted. I love telling stories. I love writing. And, I love looking at ordinary events and sprinkling a little drama on it, you know, just a little to liven it up. However, as I am choosing to give up suffering, I am seeing, that by default, I am giving up drama (still not fully happy about this one... it is a process).
This Ramadan, I invite you all to join me. Choose a habit that no longer serves you. It can be complaining, talking about others, seeing people as out to get you instead of out to support you, etc, and give it up for 30 days. Like Ramadan, this does not mean you will not do it at all for 30 days. Instead, it means, you make a commitment to something that is bigger than you and do your best to grow into that commitment. Most Mulsims do not enjoy or look forward to not eating or drinking all day, they look forward to making their connection to God more important than their daily life activities. And, when the purpose is so much greater than yourself, the actions (not eating, etc) are actually not really that hard.
Jack Canfield has a chapter from his book, The Success Principles that says 99% is a B*****, 100% is a Breeze. It is so true. Once you commit fully, whatever you are doing gets easier. What will you choose to remove (or add) to your life this next month in a commitment to be a better version of yourself? A commitment to be the YOU that you know you are capable of being?
Ramadan Mubarik my friends. I pray that this month uplift us all. I always teach people to join in any holy days that anyone is celebrating, because that many people focused on their higher connection is a good energy to be connected to. So, whether you are Muslim or not, I pray that this Ramadan uplift you.
This year, may we all be a little kinder and little more open and understanding to others. May we see that there is no one right answer to so many of life's questions and instead pray for ourselves and each other to be guided by the One who knows all. May we be more present to our daily moments and may be complete our daily routines with more awareness. May only kind words fall from our mouths. May our hands only be involved in kind deeds that build the world and our feet only take us to places that bring us closer to the true remembrance of Who We Really Are. May we act as children of God and see every person around us, especially those we really do not like, as children of God as well. May we be peace on earth so that there may be peace on earth. May we release anything that no longer serves us and grow into the men and women that we know we are capable of being. May we bless each other in every moment of every day. May we make love, peace, and kindness our greatest priorities. May we have the courage and the tools to speak out in truth in the face of injustice in the most loving manner possible. May we take all the good that has been bestowed upon us and increase the gratitude in our hearts and generously share with those that are truly suffering and do not have enough. May our hearts be cleared of any hurt, anger or residual ick that is left and shine bright with the love and light of God. And, may each of us, walking our own paths, increase the level of compassion towards ourselves and each other.
Ramadan Mubarik - May your prayers be answered and your burdens be lightened.
Remember who you are.
I have found this is THE most important thing I need to remember, no matter what is happening. You are not a mistake, or an accident, you are a child of God. And, you are not here to suffer or fear, but to create and love. When things get tough, it is easy to forget who we are, forget our power, and forget what we can create. I feel the pain. I feel the fear. And, I choose to remember that God is greater than any man, any words, or anything that is happening in the world. This is the time for great faith - in God, in each other, and in ourselves. From this place, we can create the solutions that the world so badly needs today.
When you are focused on your small self (the part of you that can be hurt and needs protection) you are stuck in a special kind of hell. Life is not, never have been about, and never will be about you, however, life is dependent on you to flow. You are AN integral part, but not THE integral part. This is a hard concept sometimes to get spiritually. You are everything and nothing all at the same time, because just like you are everything, so is every one else - no more, no less.
The only reason that is even important, is because once you realize nothing is really about you, you are FREE! Yes, FREE to create, to be your wonderful, amazing self. There is no one else here that is just like you with your life experiences. There is no one else who can do what you do, in the way you do it. Sure... there are tons of coaches out there... there are tons of people who write blog posts... but there is only one ME! And, the people who are in need of what I have, will find me, and the people who need a different blog post, will find a different person. It is SO not about ME!
Is this making sense to you all?
Each day, my only job is to wake up and be the best possible Amina I can be. That is it. If I do that every day, then I am fulfilling my life purpose. Days, when I wake up, and try to be a better Amina, or a different Amina, or the Amina who is liked, or the Amina who seems smart, etc... then, I am missing the mark. I am causing myself suffering, because instead of being the amazing, wonderful me that I am, with my nooks and crannies and say, how can I be the best me today? How can I spread joy, love, peace and acceptance wherever I go? How can I be of service to mankind today? How can I shine my light the brightest?
And... my next phase of the journey, which I am experiencing now... how can I choose to remember who I am and not suffer, when someone says, "I don't like your light" or, "ick, that light, I like blue light". These days, I am remembering, that no matter what someone else says or does, I do not have to suffer. Even if they say, "I do not like you. I think you are worthless." I can simply allow that to be what it is, and not suffer. I have to say, it has taken me years to "get this" but the lightbulb has gone off and I actually get it! It is so liberating.
Jack Canfield says, "whatever you think of me is none of my business". I always thought that was cute. But, now, I think that is a hugely powerful. Whatever you think of me, is truly, none of my business. You are a divine human being on earth. You have had a unique set of life experiences and you have a unique life path. Whatever you think of me, is about you and your life path, and not about me, and therefore, truly, none of my business. On principle alone, I would never stand in the way of someone and their life path... but how often have I done just that?!?! How often has someone been walking their path, and I have thought, "ouch, why did you do that, don't you know how that makes me feel?". And, the other person, for their own reasons, tries to "give in" to my needs, and then we are off on a merry-go-round of insanity. Both me and the other person.
Instead, when someone needs you to be other than that which you are, say, "I love you so much" and continue on your way. It is good for them and good for you. If you can do this, without suffering, well, I feel like you have life all figured out! That is the key to life. I have people in my life, a lot of them, that are great teachers. I say to them, I need x, and they say, that's nice and continue on their life path AND at the same time, they love me with their FULL hearts. There is nothing more powerful than to be unconditionally loved by someone who also unconditionally loves themselves.
To start, focus on unconditionally loving yourself. Once you do, unconditionally loving others just flows naturally. You unconditionally love yourself by ACCEPTING YOURSELF EXACTLY AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. That is unconditional love. All your nooks and crannies - love the pieces out of those. Don't "try" to change them, love them. The power of love transforms everything. The more you love those pieces of yourself, the more they will change. It is just how it works. The more you hate/judge/force those pieces, the more resistant and stuck they will get.
You literally cannot be more than you are in any given moment. In this moment, if I said, "be smarter!", could you? No, you cannot be anything but what you are. And, the more you accept what you are, the more you grow, because we all grow through love and acceptance.
So, sprinkle some love and acceptance on yourself today and watch your life magically change right before your very eyes!
One of my favorite quotes from the book, The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. We fear suffering. We would do anything not to suffer, and yet, each day, we think thoughts that cause us suffering. We look at others behaviors and make judgments about what their behavior says about us. We spend countless hours, days, weeks, months, and years of our life, suffering. We do this because we think if we can rid ourselves of suffering, we can FINALLY be the people we are meant to be. But, like everything in life, you have to be the person you are meant to be within the world you are in, suffering and all. I went back and found this message I received about suffering from 2014. I share it here with you.
We ask you, "how long do you choose to suffer?".
For see, all suffering is an illusion you have chosen to create. We wait patiently, and with love, until you make a different choice. So, we ask again, with no judgment, "how long do you choose to suffer?"
Know that we will never tire of waiting and as soon as you are ready, you can hand over the burden you carry to us for we can make it disappear in an instant, as can you. For it is not real, it never was real, it was always an illusion. And, as you have gained more knowledge, your ability to create grander illusions have also increased. They are so well done and masterfully created through years of experience that you, yourself, no longer see them for what they are.
They are a false construct, created by a brilliant mind, that sometimes chooses fear over peace. We invite you to return to peace. We invite you to return to love, love for yourself. We invite you to simply hand the entire illusion over to us, with no explanation, no instructions, and no fear. We will replace your grand illusion with something grander - peace, God's light, serenity, self compassion and self love.
But, only when you are ready.
We are not in a hurry. We stand by you, ready and awaiting and simply ask, "how long do you choose to suffer?"
Channeled work - October 30, 2014
Lately, I have been thinking of choices. The choices I have made and keep making and the choices that others make and keep making. I am neat, organized, crisp, and clear... I don't like lines that are not straight or roads that lead to nowhere. I like it when everything makes sense, and yet, so much of my behavior and the behavior of others, well, does not make sense.
Why do we choose to do the thing we do? A lot of it is because of our belief system. We believe certain things so many times over and over again, that we create an entire story around this belief, and then keep replaying it.
But, what if we just changed our story?
I was in a meditation weekend workshop a few years ago. We were doing meditations, writing about it, sharing with others, and then going for walks and eating chocolate to re-ground ourselves. And, then, we did it all again. It was an amazing experience. I had one meditation that was so powerful. As I was walking around after writing and sharing about it... it hit me! The story I had told myself for years, and kept re-creating was... well, a bunch of baloney! Not only was it completely untrue. But, I saw exactly what actions I take to keep re-creating the exact same story over and over in my life. It's like a chess game - they do x, and then I do y, and we always end up with the result of z. However, once I saw that the entire game was made up... I chose to walk away from the entire chess game. Think about that for a moment. Sometimes, we call life, the game of life. But, what if, you could change your story and no longer play the game of life, but instead, live in complete inner peace.
I have met people who can do this. I am not saying they are perfect 100% of the time, but, they have a heck of a lot more peace than I do. I read Michael Singer's book, The Surrender Experiment and also An Untethered Soul. I read about his experience of taming his mind, something A Course in Miracles talks about as well.
And, then, these past few months, I got to see the stories I tell. And, I got to see the stories others tell. And... it just all clicked again. WHY? Why are we choosing stories that keep us broke, tired, miserable, sad, unloved, uncared for, not-good-enough, when we can just as easily choose the story that celebrates who we really are. I just finished Joy Challenge, and one of the biggest gifts I get from Joy Challenge each year, is to see how something I create from my heart touches and uplifts so many. And... I have raving fans! People who LOVE what I created. People who WANT to play with me. People who think I am more than good enough. Now, that is a story worth telling.
Look at your life. Where is there pain, dissatisfaction, angst, annoyance? Look at that area. Shine a light on it. WRITE about it... yes, write it all down. When you do, you will see the story you are telling yourself. Does that story make you feel better or worse about yourself? If it doesn't make you feel good, I suggest changing it. Yup, change it. Just create a NEW story. You may think, "wait! I have facts that support this messed up, sad story!" And I say, "of course you do!". You will have facts to support ANY story you come up with (see The Work by Byron Katie to balance your facts out). Don't believe me, watch TV commentary about our current political state. They all have facts to support their ONE point of view. It is called spin. The media uses it, consultants use it, advertisers use it... now, it is time for us to use it on ourselves. Let's SPIN up a story that celebrates your weakest parts. Let's spin up a story that reminds you of Who You Really Are. Let's spin up a story that makes you want to dance in the kitchen and sing at the top of your lungs, instead of crawl back into bed and pull the covers over your head!
Here is what I now is true... whatever story you spin up, the Universe WILL deliver. And, well, I know what story you are creating right now, because the Universe is delivering the results of it to you right now. Change your thoughts, change your story, change your results.
Are you ready to spin up a story that delights you? You can join me (for free) in Adventures in Amina this May to spin up a delightful story! Leave your comments below... what are you spinning up so that the Universe can deliver you what you most desire!
If I walked out in the sunshine and decided to choose to be anything I wanted. What story would I choose? Would I be the lucky one, the pretty one, the funny one, the smartest one of all of them?
... Would I keep the story of hurt; of things done in the past that caused me harm? Would I choose to tell the sad stories as I leaned on your shoulder to cry? What would I choose?
Would I tell the story about how I finally got it right, all of it, right, all at the same time? Or, would I tell you about the nightmares that haunt me?
If I could chose, which story would it be?
If I just kept walking into the sunshine, could I leave all the old stories behind; the good ones, the bad ones, the sad ones? Could I walk far enough and long enough that those stories simply could not catch up to me anymore? Could I walk far enough to create a blank slate, a clean page, a new story waiting to be?
What story would I choose then? Would it be full of adventure or lazily floating down a river? Would I be the Queen or the Villain or both? Would my story be all about sunshine and butterflies, even though, I was taught that was unrealistic? Would I allow myself to dream up the story that made my heart sing or stick to the plot lines I already know? Which story would I create if I had a blank slate?
Let's talk money. I would say it is a subject that I love, but in all honesty, it is a subject that until recently I did not spend much time thinking about at all. I know what I want and I trust I will have the financial means to get what I want. I am much more excited about the end thing that money helps me get, including working from home, working part time, and new Ugg boots to keep my toes warm in the Illinois winter. Ming Chee and I started a Facebook Coaching group called, Being Present to Serve, where we talked about our amazingly similar philosophy towards money. And, now, we are taking our show on the road to Newport Beach, CA on Feb 24th and 25th to talk about Metaphysical Money.
What is Metaphysical Money?
We named our workshop Metaphysical Money because this is not a Suze Orman or David Ramsey How To money course (fyi - I love Suze and her jackets - just not how I do the money thing).
I loved reading the definition of metaphysics, because that is exactly how we relate to money! It is based on the first principle of things - using energy to create. I also love "abstract theory with no basis in reality" which explains exactly what we will be doing for two days. We invite each of you (whether you will be there in person or not) to set aside any of your beliefs about what is possible, how money works, and how it is earned and come in ready to create money by changing your energetic relationship to abundance. All of the beliefs about money are just that, beliefs. It is time to examine what we believe and see if those beliefs are helping us create better and faster or if they are actually holding us back. For example, a belief that I many people have is, "you have to work to make money". That is just not a belief I have. I know money can come from all kinds of interesting ways and I know money comes the fastest from when I show up and genuinely help others (whether I charge for it, or just make muffins for a neighbor). I know the actions where I am of service are the actions that attract more financial abundance into my life. And, the places where I am of service in a way that uplifts me, that is the best service I can give to another.
Do your money beliefs need an upgrade?
One of the most interesting exercises I went through was where I had to write down every belief I had about money and where it came from. I had beliefs from my mom, my dad, and my grandmother. I noticed that most of the beliefs I kept were from my grandmother and therefore had a fairly healthy relationship with money, even though, she grew up in the depression. She believed an Islamic principle so strongly that she lived her life by it. It is the concept of Rizak. This concept says that everything you get comes from God and is determined from God. The example that is often used is in losing your job or having something stolen, and then by miracle, someone else gives you what you need to make ends meet this month. That is because that sustenance was always meant for you from God. And, therefore, you do not need to "worry" about money, because your money has been put in a trust for you and that trust may be held by hundreds of people, including someone who pays for your coffee in the line before you, they were holding a part of your trust. That is the concept of Rizak in Islam. Once I learned this, I understood there is no need to worry about money. What I need will be provided in the means that is right for whatever life lesson I need to learn at the time. I may need to learn to live on less, and then less will be provided. I may have a big job ahead of me to help others, and then more is provided, because I have been entrusted with more money that is for other people. This spiritual concept takes "me" out of the money equation. It is all handled. My only job is to show up and be of service, the money will take care of itself.
What are you here to create?
During our workshop, we will be focused on being the people that we need to be in order to fulfill our contribution to the world. I use this example all the time. If you have been hired to paint my house, which is three stories high, and you need a ladder to paint it, wouldn't I do whatever I need to do to get you a ladder? I mean, I want the house painted. I can get a ladder from the garage or borrow a ladder from a neighbor but it is in my best interest to get you a ladder. In fact, it would make no sense for me to say, "nope, not getting you a ladder". When we are clear what we are going to create with the financial abundance we seek, the financial abundance (aka the ladder) will show up. Getting clear on how you want to contribute opens the door to the money coming. People who say, "when I have the money I will...", are just delaying their contribution. When they say, "I am going to start contributing today, even if it is just painting one part of the house" that is when the money shows up. You must decide to be the person you are capable of being and when you do, all the resources you need to be that person will show up. I mean, how could it not?
One more real life example. Lately, my facebook feed has been filled with bitcoin. I don't know much about it. It is some kind of digital currency. And, I found myself thinking, I wonder if I should learn more about bitcoin? Here is how Metaphysical Money works... if I need to know more about bitcoin, then someone will come up to me and say, "hey, Amina, have you heard about bitcoin? I have this great resource about it that you may want to check out!". Then, about 15 minutes later, someone else will post about bitcoin on my page. And, then the next day, someone else will tell me their experience with bitcoin. And, next thing you know, I have learned enough about bitcoin to either be part of it or not. I do not need to worry about FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) because there is no such thing. The experiences that are right for my life will find me. I don't have to go searching for them. I remember when I was looking for a relationship, people told me, "you have to get out there, Mr. Right is not going to come knock at your door or show up at your workplace." Well, guess what, he showed up at a place where I was doing training. "What is meant to be will always find a way" - Trisha Yearwood. I believe that.
So, relax. Lay back. Allow. Your money is handled. Instead of "figuring out" money, figure out how to contribute to the world, knowing what you need will be handled. Instead of reading another book or attending another seminar, get in touch with the higher vibration of contribution, certainty, self-love, presence and purpose. And, if you want to connect to that vibe (whether it is related to money or anything else) you can come hang out with Ming and I who will be operating from that frequency all weekend long!
"I hate myself", someone said to me in a particular difficult moment the other day. Nothing gets the adrenaline going in my body quicker than, "I hate myself." That statement is a clear sign that there has been damage done to the soul. Sometimes, it can take on a lesser symptom, "I hate myself when...", "I wish I was better at...", "Why do I keep...", and others like that. While not quite at the kick-into-action phrase, they are not that far behind and emergency soul medicine must be applied immediately. Unfortunately, there is no pill to heal your soul, it is done through self awareness, self care and finally, self love.
In the United States, we have become more and more obsessed with our health stats and scores. We have fitbits that measure how many steps we take and our heart rate. We get our blood sugar and cholesterol checked regularly. I know many people who have pH sticks to check whether or not they are in ketosis or home monitoring for a number of different statistics, but how much time, if any, do you spend on your soul health?
There are numerous studies on the mind-body connection and the spirit-body connection. There has been a lot of research on various spiritual causes of illness. One of my all time favorite pieces of work is called, Purification of the Heart by Hamza Yusuf, which is an ancient text talking about what causes diseases of the heart. The book talks about the worldly actions that when you engage in "harden" your heart - the physical act of plaque on your heart from actions like jealously, hate, anger, etc. If you truly want to live a physically healthy life, I would argue, you must ensure your soul is healthy.
I picture my soul like a delicate Faberge egg or like the rose in Beauty and the Beast. It in and of itself is delicate and precious. It must be cared for, protected, nurtured. Around it as an energy field that is like light-weight armor. It is super strong yet highly flexible. It is not easy to pierce it but it is able to be pierced. Each of us have a way of being that allows for certain areas of the armor to wear down over time. Mine may be on the left arm, while yours is on the right foot, but we all have these highly individualized points of weakness in our armor. And, these points of weakness are caused by phrases such as, "I wish I could be more....", "I don't know what is wrong with me" and the mother of all phrases that will put a huge slit in the armor, "I hate myself". Which is why when I hear that, I am like, "Nooooooooooooo, undo, undo, undo.... No!" Because I understand the impact to the armor when those words are uttered in a moment or self-loathing. Disease is created when we have holes in our armor. That is a way for physical disease to enter. Like alcohol to the liver, cholesterol to the heart, sugar to kidney function, self-anger is poison to the soul. And a poisoned soul leads to dis-ease in the body.
It does not have to be this way. Instead, you could accept that you are human. You could accept that you are going to make big mistakes - mistakes that hurt others, mistakes that cause you to lose something dear, mistakes that cannot be undone to have things go back to the way they used to be. And, if you can accept that this is just a part of life and a part of your journey and that you will not make those mistakes over and over, but instead, you will learn and grow in your capacity to love because of the mistakes you have made, you can love your mistakes and "love the one that makes mistakes". I learned that from my coach, Tamara Green. The key is not to be a perfect human being, as I thought. The key to enlightenment is not to become perfect. The key to enlightenment is to be able to see through the eyes of love - that means to see ourselves through the eyes of love and to see another through the eyes of love. That is enlightenment. It does not mean you will never hurt another - because in truth, you being you, hurts another. It is only having the desire to be love to all, to have no other goal than this.
This is the current lesson I am learning on my spiritual path. I love this path. I love what I learn. However to have access to these lessons, I have made mistakes. I have said things I wish I hadn't said. Harbored thoughts towards others that were not very kind. I have done things that are so below my Who I really Am and because of that, I get to learn this beautiful lesson. For the first time ever, I am seeing the true beauty of imperfection. I am seeing how much deeper I can love myself in my imperfection. My teacher said to me, "what would happen if you just accepted that sometimes you do these imperfect things - sometimes you behave in non-loving ways" and I balked. NO! No, no, no, no, NO! I don't want that. I only want to act from a place of love, but you know what, sometimes I don't. And, when I allowed that, I saw, many times I do not act from a place of love. Many times. And, that just increased my self-compassion. I thought it would increase my self-anger, self-frustration, but it did not, I felt so much love for the one who kept reacting in non-loving ways over really minor stuff. She must be really scared to behave that way. And, in that moment, I decided to no longer be scared. And... well... I haven't been, not at the same level. I just have not been scared in the same way. And... I have acted from a place of greater love. WOW! I won't say it was easy, but I also won't say it was hard. Once I saw, it was just getting used to doing things differently. And, noticing when I slipped back into my need to protect myself.
Prior to completing the workbook of A Course in Miracles in order, I had been asked to read Lesson 153: In my defenselessness my safety lies. In the lesson, it explains the vicious cycle that many of us find ourselves in on a daily basis. We think someone attacked us, so we defend ourselves by attacking them (either to their face or behind their back, calling people and saying, can you believe what xyz did?!). And, in that moment that we "defend ourself" we have just committed an attack on the other person. And, then we find out, whoops, they did not mean that, it was an misunderstanding or a miscommunication, but guess what, we already launched our rockets and created a mess! Wouldn't it be easier to instead do this, "Wow, I heard so and so just did xyz. That is so interesting." And, then go about our business. Not give it any meaning. Not assume it has anything to do with us. Not create any story about the event. Just let the event be what it is, wish the person well (because honestly, if they are doing something that could be misinterpreted then maybe they need our love?) and then go back to creating and living and dancing... I love dancing! What if that person purposely tried to attack you? What if they did? Do you need to respond? Have you ever seen someone get super angry and attack someone and they just ignored them? Who comes across as the stronger person?
In college, someone taught my best friend the 90/10 rule and she taught it to me. 90% of the time people are just doing what they are doing. 10% of the time, they are gunning for you. You have to know when that 10% is happening and get out of the way. And, it is a lot less often than you think. That is the way to respond, get out of the way. Not engage. Not pour gasoline on it. Not "stand up for yourself". Why? If someone really thinks you are crap, are you going to change their mind by yelling at them and calling them names? Is that going to show them how wrong they are about you? In my experience, that has not worked. Those people have just found another way to get at me that is not as direct and now based on something I said or did in a moment of anger.
The last thing I want to say about this is it boils down to my biggest realization of 2017 and just, well, my biggest realization. It all boils down to Remembering Who You Really Are. When I was studying conflict resolution, they taught me the "Swiss Cheese" Model. They said all of us are like a piece of swiss cheese, we have solid parts and we have holes. When someone says something that "hits" on of our holes, we get upset and think they are attacking us and so we react. We don't realize, it is because of our hole. And, the next person saying the same thing would get the same reaction. To fill the hole, use love. Love the fact that you have that hole. Know that sometimes you react because of the hole and that is not who you really are it is the scared, hurt, part of you. Show that part love and compassion and before you know it, that hole will be filled by the light of love and you will be well on your way to be an enlightened master :)
I want to specially thank, Lauri DeJulian, Tamara Green and Jeannette Maw for this part of my journey!
Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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