Why is this happening to me?
A question I hear all the time and one that both those who believe in Law of Attraction and those on a spiritual path want the answer to. The answer is simpler than you think, but as many of the things I talk about, simple is not easy.
There are a number of reasons that "bad" things happen. In my belief, we have to get from point A to point B in life. We go where we are needed. While we can resist for some time, eventually, we have to get there and it may take a "big" thing happening to get us to point B. Put in other words, we weren't going gently, so we get pushed there. However, I find that when this happens, people want to know why this happened and want an explanation. In my experience, there are three things that you should avoid doing in these cases.
1. Do not ask yourself, "how did I create this?"
It is a great question and practice in manifesting to look at your thoughts to understand how you created the outcomes you are getting. However, when something bad happens, the question, how did I create this is just a way to cause more hurt and pain. I believe we can create "negative" events in our life by focusing on them, but I believe more strongly, that we REALLY, REALLY, REALLY have to focus hard on the negative events to create them. Unless you are walking around thinking of terrible things happening to you over and over again on a repeat loop, you probably did not manifest it. In fact, you probably are manifesting something great and awesome, and this is the path that God and the Universe have chosen to get you there. It reminds me of a poster of a hamster in a maze, who chews his way through the walls and makes a beeline to the cheese. Must have been painful, but he got there real quick. While it seems bad, it may in fact be part of the process. When bad things happen to us, we let go of a lot of unnecessary pain. It is like when we are physically sick, like with a cold, we don't do our normal daily routine, because we don't have the energy for it. When emotionally trying times occur, we don't do our normal drama routine, because we are too sad or too exhausted to run our program. You did not create this negative outcome, or heck, maybe you did. Either way, its not a big deal because you are on your path to where you need to be.
2. Believe you can overpower a bad situation.
Bad situations are just that, bad situations. I have a number of coaching clients who are convinced they can overcome these, turn them around, change the person's mind, change the outcome. I am sure some of them can... they are pretty determined. But, why? Sometimes, when things do not go our way, our pride and ego can get hurt. We feel we need it to be different so we can feel whole and complete. But, we do not need any outcome to feel whole and complete. Just because someone said no, the deal fell through, the test result was not what you expected, is not a cause to go into overdrive to turn that situation around. If you really want to turn the situation around, accept it. Nothing turns things around faster than acceptance. If you can accept what is happening, and accept that it is really not the end of the world, then if there is a chance for it to turn around, it will. If you have to "work hard" to convince someone of an outcome, it is too much energy in the wrong direction. It is time to follow my favorite Abraham advice and let go of the oars and float downstream. Everything you want is downstream.
3. Convince yourself that you must stick with this so you can learn this lesson... and therefore never have this experience again.
Yes, and yes, I agree with this one, but to an extent. We do repeat lessons in life until we learn what we have come to learn from it. But, if you are in a bad situation that gets worse by the moment, what exactly are you trying to learn from that? If you have done your part, released it to God and the Universe, prayed for the other person's happiness, asked for Guidance and to be shown a different way, and bad behavior continues, it may be time to ask yourself the hard question. "Why am I choosing to stay in this experience?". We choose to stay in experiences for lots of reasons - some that make sense, many that do not. Getting honest with yourself about why you are choosing to stay in a particular experience is a good first step. For most of us, we stay because we are scared of the unknown. Ending an experience, whether that means leaving a job, a person, a place, can seem scary. And, because ending has so many feelings with it, most of us have a hard time doing so in a loving way. If you see this experience is no longer benefiting you, instead of "leaving" and "ending" it, why not set the stage for a new experience with the same factors. If you choose you are going to have an experience of joy, freedom, and happiness, then your current environment will either rise up to meet you or it will not. And, if it does not, then I ask you, "what are you pretending not to know?" I believe in magical outcomes and I also believe, God helps those that help themselves. Sometimes, having the courage to say, this is not working the way it is, and I want to make it better, is the best route. And, sometimes, you realize you have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt, and it is time for you to be honest about the experience you are having and the one you would rather be having.
I look around the world today and there is a lot of pain and hurt in the world. The number of people who are checking out using drugs of some sort or alcohol seems to be getting worse. The are people who cannot handle what is happening in the world and are spending time looking for who to blame instead of creating solutions. And, many people have lost the ability to connect without the use of a device, to just be present. When you look at who you are dealing with, the person or situation that is causing you grief, ask yourself a few questions:
- Is this person able to be there for themselves?
- Does this person have a good, solid relationship with themselves?
- Does this person have a good, solid relationship with a higher Source?
If the answers to these questions are no, then how can you expect this person to be in a solid, relationship with you? When we allow others to dictate or direct our experience, we step out of alignment with ourselves. And, we are too quick to listen to advice of people who have not done their own work. People who have done their work are cautious at best when telling you what to do with your life and they understand, it is all about the experience and your path and that you will get there.
For where I am in my growth, I need more self love and self compassion. I am not talking manicures and massages, I am talking about seeing who I really am and why I am here. And, there is a lot of noise out there. There are "bad" situations that come up and seem to demand my time and attention, and beg for me to suffer. There are many well meaning people who want me to stand up for myself or tell them this or tell them that, but that is not my path. My path is one of the greatest possible growth for me. I know that some of my greatest moments of growth came from heart break, being weak and sick, losing my step, being lonely. Some of my greatest growth came from the "bad" times. It is up to me to determine how bad the time is by how much I am willing to suffer about the situation. Life will continue with its up and downs, and we can spend time analyzing each one of them and suffering, or we can tune in and trust the divine flow of life. Choose to be grateful and at peace, regardless of what is happening around you, to the best of your ability. You will see this is the most powerful way to navigate life.
Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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