True confession - that affirmation is still aspirational for me.  Currently, I base my happiness on a lot of external factors.  The least of which include the weather, and the worst of which include other people (who, have you noticed, are totally unpredictable?). Today, I woke up in a great mood and within the first 10 minutes of my day I got information which immediately turned that happy into anxious, worried, and generally icky feelings.  And, just like that, I lost my own happiness.

My new habit has been to start my day with a walk.  As I got dressed to go, the general malaise feeling followed me and I found myself dragging my feet (for 30 minutes!) from getting out the house.  A walk is a sure fire mood-shifter for me, but once in that ick state, it is hard to even do the things that I know will make me feel better!  When I finally got walking, I was still lost in thoughts of worry.  And, then I saw my daily Abraham Hicks quote jump up on my phone.

Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel — and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.
​Excerpted from Asheville, NC on 4/30/05

And, there are days and moments, where sometimes just a simple reminder is all it takes to shift your mood.  And, there are other days, where I can listen and read 100 of these before I feel a tiny, bit better. But, today, was the day where I just needed the reminder.  And, I realized that I could feel ok, no matter what.  It reminder me of my Non-suffering practice.  It reminded me that I get to choose if and when to give up my Peace. It reminded me of Who I am Really Am and the power that is my ability to choose the way I want to show up in the world at all times.  

Those of you who know me, know that I am into astrology.  I just find so much of what they say to match my life experience.  While I don't fully know it or study it extensively, I keep up with the eclipses and retrogrades.  And, I know that July is going to be a full month of stuff - good stuff, big stuff, changing stuff, just stuff.  For that reason, I thought this is a good time to remind myself of the fact that I can be happy no matter what.  I get to make that choice.  I do not have to give up my happiness based on another person and their personal drama, or an external event which I cannot control.  I can be happy anyways.  It is a really empowering feeling to know that I own my own happiness, and honestly, my own peace. They are mine and I get to stay in them (or lose them) based on what I decide.  Don't let your mind fool you, like mine did this morning, and tell you that these things are out of your control.  Take a moment to remind yourself of Who You Really Are and get your happy back!

I have been working on lessons of trust for... well... this lifetime.  It is an area where I have a lot of good intention and an area where I get bumped off my path when the most minor thing goes "not according to plan" (the plan being my plan, not God's plan, hence the lesson in trust).  And, over the past few months, I have been committed to working on surrendering.  I did not tie that directly to trust, I tied it more to having peace of mind.  However, what I have found in my process of surrendering is amazing examples of God making everything right by me.  One example after the other.

I have had a difficult subject on my mind lately, having to do with trust.  I want to trust.  I know I should trust.  I know that everything is working out for my greatest good.  I KNOW all of this.  But, the internal emotional feelings are one of pure fear.  Not just fear, pure fear.  Dread.  Anxiety.  Overwhelm.  Feelings that I do not enjoy and like to get the heck out of as quickly as possible.  However, I have been working on surrendering. One of the key steps, and the one I have often times tried to skip, is to sit with these "horrible" feelings and allow them the space they need to just be there.  I have learned time and time again, the more openly I sit with them and allow them, the quicker they dissolve, whereas any amount of millions of activities to help make myself "feel better" only lead to temporarily forgetting (if I am lucky) followed by being stuck back in the same feelings over and over again until they pass. This time, I have made a conscious effort to just be with them without analyzing them, understanding them, fixing them, or running from them.  It is actually a peaceful process if you can get to the place of disengaging your brain and just literally BEING in the feeling.

And, in each case, I have repeated what has become my new mantra - I could see peace instead of this or I choose peace.  Both of them are a reminder of the commitment I have to myself that I am more committed to peace than to "figuring it out", "being right" or a big one for me, "knowing".  This feeling of wanting to know, for me, is the polar opposite of trust.  When I get into wanting to know, I am by default saying, I do not trust God to take care of me, so I need to know what is happening so I can plan to take care of myself.  The funny part is, it sounds so logical and almost downright responsible to me.  But, it robs me of so much peace.  This need to take care of myself, to be in control, to know, it only leaves me with anxiety, self-doubt, and stress and never have I outsmarted God or the Universe with a better outcome then the one they had planned for me.

As you are moving through life, and you feel any of these feelings of discomfort, ask yourself, "how can I let the Universe handle this for me?"  I have had some experiences lately, where I have not asked that question, but instead, decided (in some icky situations) to leave so that I could hold my peace and in a short period of time, remove my judgement of another person.  And, the outcomes have been HILARIOUS!  The good things that have shown up for me.  The opportunities, the love, the grace of God, have been amazing.  And, the weird (funny, not mean) things that have happened to the other person.  I am starting to see that God knows how to handle every situation in the perfect way, and to make it right.  And, if I don't get involved, God's way of making it right, is SO perfect.  It is the right amount of validation for me, and the most amount of love for me and them.  And... in the past few weeks, it has also brought me a good chuckle.  Next time you are having a feeling of ick, thinking someone is doing you wrong, just hand it over to the Big Guns and get yourself back to peace and non-judgement as quickly as possible, and you can join in on the chuckles with me!