I am concurrently completing a module about being at peace and a module on self compassion. Surprisingly, or maybe not, they have the same message, being in a state of peace, is the ultimate self love, self care, self compassion, spiritual, giving, thing you can do. From this state of inner peace, anything you do or say, can only create good, because of the deep intention under it. Getting to this state, is a lifelong (for most of us) practice.
I started thinking about something I say all the time... When babies come into this world, they come in complete and whole. They are small, they are defenseless, and they do not know how to act in this world, but they are not in any way, incomplete. Yet, as we grow, we start to believe we are more and more incomplete. We are always seeking for knowledge, teachers, peoples and experiences to complete us. And, the more of those we get, the more we seek. At any time, I am reading at least three books on some way to improve my life; my already pretty-darn-wonderful-and-fully-complete life.
I do not think this will end my addiction to learning, nor do I think it needs to, but instead, help us all think about how we use self improvement. If you are already complete, then you really don't need to read this book, take the training, or read this blog to be better. You are already full and complete. Then you can choose to learn something new, try a new experience, expand your horizon, from a place of self-confidence. I know I am full and complete, and now, I want to have a new experience. Then, no matter what the experience brings, you can see it for what it is. An opportunity to learn, an opportunity to explore, an opportunity to try something new.
I study all these spiritual texts and principles and they keep coming back to one thing. You are just as God created you - complete and whole. Any action you take from this place, with the desire to keep and extend your peace, will lead to the right experience for you for your greatest good and optimal learning. As humans, we sometimes learn more from the experiences that feel painful in the moment. But, think about so many of your wonderful accomplishments - if you played sports, or a musical instrument, or were in a play or gave a speech - you had to feel discomfort, you had to stretch and grow, to get that glow of achievement afterwards. Just because something is not comfortable in the moment, does not mean it is not for your highest good. Being in a state of peace does not mean you will never have an uncomfortable experience, it simply means, you will see it for what it is, without thinking this is somehow personal about you or that there is something wrong with you.
Sit with this question for a moment: "Am I whole and complete right now, exactly as I am?" If you answered no, think about why you feel that way. It is an illusion. If you fix or get whatever it is that you think will make you complete, will you truly feel complete then? The highest good you can do for yourself, your family, your friends and the world, is to truly believe you are whole and complete and then act from that place. And you are only whole and complete when you realize you are connected to a power far beyond any problem or issue in this world. You can call that your deep connection with God or Source.
When I joined a program where we were going to take conflict resolution skills to kids in Southeast DC, I had to go through some extensive training. To this day, some of the best training I have ever had in my life (National Coalition Building Institute). We had to do a lot of work on ourselves before we were sent out to meet with students. In this training, I learned about the Swiss Cheese model in conflict resolution. The Swiss Cheese model explained that anytime someone says or does anything that upsets, hurts, offends you, it is because it hit a hole within you that was not healed, and therefore is reacting to what someone said. As I have continued my personal journey, this has proved true time and time again. Anytime someone offends me, it is because I myself perceive myself to not be fully complete in this area. In the past, I would do numerous activities to try to make myself whole in that area. Recently, I have found, it is much simpler, though, perhaps more difficult, I am not sure... I have simply decided to remember the truth about myself: I am whole. And, any perception or feeling I have that I am not, is not true. The only thing I need to heal or fix is the thought I have could have a hole, that I could be incomplete. I can fill this perceived hole with the love and light of God and then simply move on with my life. This has been my journey to not suffering. For me, not suffering and keeping my peace, is directly related to remembering Who I Really Am, and that person is not an incomplete human being.
Barbara von Mettenheim
8/25/2018 07:25:09 am
Brilliant and true. We all need to understand that when I am disturbed by something someone said, it is because I feel lacking in that area. If we hold this to be true, people who upset us are our greatest teachers.
9/5/2018 08:37:01 am
I've been thinking a lot about how the collective conversation is filled with so many people getting "offended" at this that or the other ... and what's needed is the inner strength (and the realization that you have the strength) to be compassionate/empathetic without falling apart. Thanks for the swiss cheese model reference -- I love it, "if it offends, you've got some work to do!"
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Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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