I have talked about a principle from The Success Principles by Jack Canfield, called E+R=O, taking 100% responsibility for your actions. This powerful, life-altering principle, states that your point of power, or control, is your response to events in your life. Using the formula, the E is for the Event, the R is for your Response, and the O is the Outcome. In order to get a different outcome (or to influence the Outcome), the only thing you can control is the R, your response. The E, event, is what it is, it is out of your control. Therefore, your point of power for changing the outcome to any situation is to control your Response to the event.
Recently, I was in a conversation with someone and I realized something so amazing while speaking to them. They had not decided who they were going to be in a specific type of situation. For example, every time I go to visit or speak to a new corporate client, I have already decided who I am going to be in that situation - smart, strong, caring, listening, and confident. That version of Amina shows up. That version of Amina dresses a certain way, speaks about certain things, and asks specific questions. The silly, fun side of me does not show up to the first meeting. The kind, professional does. I know exactly who I am in that situation. I know what I need to do and what parts of myself need to be fully present in that moment. My spiritual, connected side is also totally present, but that is not the side I begin the conversation with, it is the side I use to prepare for the initial conversation.
Have you thought about who you are (or are going to be) in certain situations?
What about if there is a family emergency? Who are you going to be in that situation? The one that offers prayers and support from a far? The one that writes a check immediately? The one that drops everything, shows up, and runs the show?
At a job interview? With your kids/spouse? When things don't go your way? When you win the lottery? Which of your unique skills are you stepping forward with in each of those situations? Which version of your authentic self shows up in each of these situations?
Most importantly, who are you when you feel attacked? Who are you when you feel like life handed you a huge bag of lemons? Do you use those events to allow a different version of yourself to step forward? Do you allow a victim mentality in those cases? Do you allow a complaining, negative side of you to take center stage?
There is no right or wrong answer. There is just a formula that works every time, E+R=O. However your respond to that situation influences the outcome. Take a moment to look at situations in your life where the best qualities of who you are shine through and situations where the less-than-best qualities of who you are step forward. If you take a moment to really think of these, then ask yourself, how can I allow a moment of pause to allow some of my better qualities to step forward in these situations?
There are people who really, really, really annoy me. I don't know why, they just do. And, in those situations, my "too good for you" qualities jump forward so quickly it would make your head spin. The practice for the month of December in Adventures with Amina is to keep your peace in every situation. Another way of saying that is to linger in the pause. There is a moment between the event and your response to the event, where you get to make a decision. For most of us, we are moving so fast, and on such auto-pilot that we miss this moment much more often than we catch it. Some of us even believe that "we can't help it, it just happens." But, that is not true. We all have an option to choose again. And, I believe, until you choose the path of peace, you will keep facing the same situation over and over again. Everything in life repeats until the lesson is learned. And, the only way to "learn the lesson" is to be able to see the situation in a different way. In order to see the situation differently, you have to make a different decision in that moment of pause. And, the only way to do that, is to actually catch the moment of peace/pause, so you have the ability to make a different decision. This month, we are going to focus on practices to help increase our awareness of the fact that the moment of peace (the moment of pause) is ALWAYS available to us.
Yesterday, I was having a difficult conversation with my friend. The situation they were in was uncomfortable and I felt myself getting annoyed and frustrated, wanting them to make a different choice and knowing they wouldn't. While listening (not really, I was not fully present, I was triggered), I looked up and saw a prayer on my wall and read it silently to myself. All of a sudden, the entire room changed. I realized, all is truly well. Life is truly good. And, that this situation is perfect and unfolding perfectly. I quickly relayed my confidence in my friend's ability to handle this situation perfect, and got off the phone! I do not need to linger in this situation and figure it out! There is NOTHING to figure out! There is no action required from me. The only thing I needed to do was be present and see my friend and the situation as perfect. Once I was able to catch a moment of pause, I saw that. It was so easy. That is the power to tuning into peace at any moment.
Want to improve your peace muscle? Want to be able to hear news reports and stay at a level of peace? Want to be able to see you are ok no matter what is happening to you or around you, because you are truly ok at all times. Join me in Adventures in Amina during December for a free 30 day Peace practice. Peace is a muscle like any other. And, the only way to build it is to do the practices. This month, I am offering you 30 days of peace practices that are easy and impactful. Like any exercise, the more you do the quicker you will see the result, yet, any amount of effort is rewarded. Join us this month for a consistent daily morning practice for each of the 30 days, followed by a different focus practice for each day to increase your personal level of peace.
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Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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