I have been working on lessons of trust for... well... this lifetime. It is an area where I have a lot of good intention and an area where I get bumped off my path when the most minor thing goes "not according to plan" (the plan being my plan, not God's plan, hence the lesson in trust). And, over the past few months, I have been committed to working on surrendering. I did not tie that directly to trust, I tied it more to having peace of mind. However, what I have found in my process of surrendering is amazing examples of God making everything right by me. One example after the other.
I have had a difficult subject on my mind lately, having to do with trust. I want to trust. I know I should trust. I know that everything is working out for my greatest good. I KNOW all of this. But, the internal emotional feelings are one of pure fear. Not just fear, pure fear. Dread. Anxiety. Overwhelm. Feelings that I do not enjoy and like to get the heck out of as quickly as possible. However, I have been working on surrendering. One of the key steps, and the one I have often times tried to skip, is to sit with these "horrible" feelings and allow them the space they need to just be there. I have learned time and time again, the more openly I sit with them and allow them, the quicker they dissolve, whereas any amount of millions of activities to help make myself "feel better" only lead to temporarily forgetting (if I am lucky) followed by being stuck back in the same feelings over and over again until they pass. This time, I have made a conscious effort to just be with them without analyzing them, understanding them, fixing them, or running from them. It is actually a peaceful process if you can get to the place of disengaging your brain and just literally BEING in the feeling.
And, in each case, I have repeated what has become my new mantra - I could see peace instead of this or I choose peace. Both of them are a reminder of the commitment I have to myself that I am more committed to peace than to "figuring it out", "being right" or a big one for me, "knowing". This feeling of wanting to know, for me, is the polar opposite of trust. When I get into wanting to know, I am by default saying, I do not trust God to take care of me, so I need to know what is happening so I can plan to take care of myself. The funny part is, it sounds so logical and almost downright responsible to me. But, it robs me of so much peace. This need to take care of myself, to be in control, to know, it only leaves me with anxiety, self-doubt, and stress and never have I outsmarted God or the Universe with a better outcome then the one they had planned for me.
As you are moving through life, and you feel any of these feelings of discomfort, ask yourself, "how can I let the Universe handle this for me?" I have had some experiences lately, where I have not asked that question, but instead, decided (in some icky situations) to leave so that I could hold my peace and in a short period of time, remove my judgement of another person. And, the outcomes have been HILARIOUS! The good things that have shown up for me. The opportunities, the love, the grace of God, have been amazing. And, the weird (funny, not mean) things that have happened to the other person. I am starting to see that God knows how to handle every situation in the perfect way, and to make it right. And, if I don't get involved, God's way of making it right, is SO perfect. It is the right amount of validation for me, and the most amount of love for me and them. And... in the past few weeks, it has also brought me a good chuckle. Next time you are having a feeling of ick, thinking someone is doing you wrong, just hand it over to the Big Guns and get yourself back to peace and non-judgement as quickly as possible, and you can join in on the chuckles with me!
Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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