Think of success like a muscle that needs to be built. While you want to run out and do it all at once, that is not the way to build stronger muscles - it takes time and repetition. Success is a set a daily habits that will help you achieve what you want. If you are like me, this sounds a bit intimidating. I am pretty good at getting on the band wagon when the idea is new and fun, but as soon as the novelty wears off, I am ready to learn a new habit and move on. It takes approximately 21 to 30 days to program in a new habit... and honestly, I think it takes closer to three months. Here is why. It takes 21 to 30 days continuously to create a new habit. That means doing that thing every day, without missing a day, for 21 to 30 days. No weekends off, no holidays, every day. When most people start something, they are pretty good for a week or two weeks, and then they may skip a day and pick back up the next day. When that happens, you start your 21-30 days clock over again. The next day you pick back up your good habit is now actually day 1 all over again.
When I set my goals, I set them with 90 days in mind. In 90 days, I may achieve part of an overall goal. I normally set close to 40 goals a year... that is a lot and I do not recommend that! But, my 40 goals are actually closer to 10 big goals that I have broken down into 4 pieces so that I can achieve a piece of the goal in 90 days. And, I know that with any goal I set, I am going to have to develop some new habits or recommit to some old habits to achieve them. Jack Canfield in The Power of Focus
talks about setting a goal for 4 new habits a year, or one new habit each 90 days. If you do that, that is 12 new habits in three years. Do you think you would reach a new level of success with 12 new habits? Absolutely! And, three years is not a long time to achieve a major life goal.
So, start today. But, how do you get started? First of all, you have to identify the habits you currently have that are holding you back the most. For me, the big one was overcommitting. I had to learn a new habit of saying no. And, it took me longer than 90 days. But, now, I realize I say no to most things. Jim Bunch, author of the Ultimate Game of Life, has a saying that I love to use: "If it is not a hell yes, then it is a hell no". You will know when you really want to say yes. Anything short of that is a no. That is one way to commit to your dream above anything else. There are a few ways to determine which habits you need to work on. The first is to observe someone you believe is successful and/or someone doing what you want to be doing. See if you can interview or shadow them and get to know what they do. When you see some habits they have, that you do not, note those as habits that you may need to develop to be successful in this field. The other way, which is very easy, but not always fun, is to ask for feedback. If you are willing to be open and honest with yourself, ask others this important question, "In what way do you see me holding myself back from achieving my dream (or achieving... and say your specific dream)?" And, then listen. Do not defend or critique the feedback, just listen. Then ask at least another 3-5 people. If the majority is saying the same thing, then take that as valid feedback to work on. This can be tough because most of us have an idea of what we are like in our minds, and it can be difficult to hear others describe us in an opposite way. But again, if one person says it, you can evaluate it, but if a bunch of people are saying the same thing, do yourself the favor and listen to the feedback.
Finally, when creating a new habit, set yourself up for success! Get a partner to check in on you; someone who will encourage
you and support you. Make changes to your environment. Our environment dictates 50% of our habits (Jim Bunch - The 9 Environments). So, make sure you take the time to look around your environment and make it work for you. If you have an issue of oversleeping - move your TV out of your bedroom, move the alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off, have someone call you at the time you need to wake up to make sure you are awake. Make the changes to your environment that will support you. Remember, success is just a habit. The more you invest in creating positive habits, the more
successful you will be.
Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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