You know that person or situation that just pushes your button?
Makes you have that knee jerk reaction despite your hours of zen like, Buddhist mediation?
That situation that just makes you cringe?
The natural next step is to blame the other person and tell yourself, "I need better boundaries." But, do you really?
Instead of building a wall of boundaries, I suggest opening deeper. When you realize that in truth, no one can hurt you without your consent, you can see that there is no need for the wall.
Remember the saying, sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.
That wisdom comes from an inner knowing of your point of power, which is your choice. You can choose to see anything as an attack. That is a choice. You can choose to see nothing as an attack, also a choice. In the world today, we are seeing lots of symbolic gestures that have meaning to the people who are doing them, and, we see others who have taken those gestures to mean something different (an attack, a battle cry, etc). Your point of power is always your CHOICE on how you PERCEIVE the world and its actions.
Yesterday, I went for my usual walk. And, I passed a beautiful house that I love with people that I wave to when passing (when they are outside). Yesterday as I was passing like normal, I came to an immediate standstill out of pure fear. Next to the American flag waving in front of their house (which was new) was the Confederate flag waving. I felt immediately unsafe and under attack.
What does it mean that they were flying the Confederate Flag? We could come up with lots of meanings, right? But, in truth, I have no idea what they mean. All I know is that they chose to fly a flag and I CHOSE to feel attacked.
greatness is an acquisition of status by the people who have contributed to an organization, group, or purpose that is greater than themselves
In my Facebook group, Adventures with Amina, each month I take on a different theme. It can be a book, a new concept to learn, or a way to be. This month, I have decided on the theme Greatness. This word has been in my environment for quite some time in many forms. However, the form that first pops to mind when I hear the word Greatness is from a set of children's books called Timmy Failure by Stephen Pastis. In these books, the main character, Timmy, is the head of a detective agency and believes he is pretty amazing, and yet, makes a number of pretty obvious mistakes. However, Timmy, with his ever failing belief in himself, always ends up on top at the end. And, to me, this exemplifies greatness. Because, if we all knew exactly how to be great, we would all be doing it every moment of every day. It is in taking a step into the unknown and trying something, believing in yourself when the evidence would say otherwise, that is true greatness.
Greatness has two components to it, the belief and the action. Let’s take a look at each of these.
Believing in Your Greatness
This is the key step to overcome to truly step into our greatness, comfort believing we are great. While the ego could have a field day with this, this is a different type of belief all together. The belief comes from the fact that each of us understands that we have within us a special skill and talent that contributes to the overall betterment of the world. This greatness is not about believing that you are better than someone else, but rather believing that what you have, your unique life experiences (and what they taught you), your unique skills and abilities, were all perfectly crafted so that you may be of greater service to the whole. The belief in your own personal greatness is not that you are greater than another, nor, is it that you are less great than another. It is like two athletes on the court – the recognition that they are both great athletes in different ways. There is a respect for all of the others on earth, because you can see they have their own greatness, as you have yours, and that the two, even if they seem similar, are their own unique thing. When you are asked to believe in your greatness, what you are really being asked, is to respond to the call to do good in the world with the skills you have. It is not about you, but about what you can bring to a situation.
Acting from Your Greatness
The second component is taking action from a place of Greatness. Think of an area in your life where you are highly confident in your skills and abilities. Maybe you are confident in your ability to manage money, make friends, host a party, play a sport, sing, dance, parent, paint, draw, etc. Think of that area. How do you show up in that area of your life? Do you show up with confidence, with ease, with grace? You are kind to others who are not “as good” in this area, because you know without a doubt, that you are “good” in this area.
When you act from a place of Greatness, you are acting from a place within you that understands that you are only a conduit of something for the greatest good of all. Meaning, you are only there to do your best, and you know, that by doing your best, the whole is lifted. In the previous example, one of the places I am highly confident is in dancing. I am by no means one of the best dancers in the world, or even “very good”. But, I am good and I know it. One of the ways this shows up is that I am often times one of the first people out on the dance floor. I can get the dance portion of the party started because of my personal belief in my skillset.
With greatness, you do not have to be the BEST dancer… that is actually not what it is about at all. You just have to be the most convicted in your desire to be of service. If you have studied success, you will see that is often not the “best” people that are successful, but those that are willing to do what it takes to move forward. That is greatness. For most of us, there will be someone who can do it better than you in a specific area of your life. One of the mistakes we make as humans is that we compare each one of our skills to a different person. Jan is a better dance than me. Joe is better at finances than me. Pedro has a better family life than me. What we forget often, is that no one else is YOU! And, that comparing 10 people to different aspects of yourself is so unfair and so unkind to yourself.
How will you step more into your Greatness this month? How will you remind yourself who you really are and why you are here? How will you show up more authentically and more fully as yourself?
I hope you join us in Adventures with Amina this month as we, collectively, step into our Greatness!
Here's why it's wise to say "Yes" to whatever life throws at you. Psychologically speaking, resistance and resolution are at opposite poles. ... Quite the opposite. Long ago, the depth psychologist Carl Jung contended that “what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
It's a Sunday in America and the news feed is abuzz with NFL players, standing or not, for the National Anthem - and what it means. I am watching with deep fascination, as I like to when people give their argument for opposing views. One news commentator talks about the financial impact to the players as ratings will drop due to their actions. Hmmmm... financial impact... that is exactly why the Protestors who destroy property, destroy property - so that there is a financial impact, so that they will be heard. Two very different sides of the issue, same conclusion, do something with financial impact so the other side will "get the message".
What most people don't realize is what they think the "other" group should do or not do, is just a reflection on what they are or are not doing.
When you point a finger at another person (or group), you point four back at you. What you think the other person/group should be doing, is EXACTLY the thing you/your group is NOT DOING.
Each time someone comments on the other group, they entrench themselves deeper into the position from which they need healing. A Course in Miracles says, "Only what you are not giving can be lacking in any situation." If you are seeing lack, it informs me that there is an area where you are resisting, and therefore not giving of yourself fully. In the areas where you are fully giving, you do not comment, because you do not see lack.
Unfortunately, we are living in a time where we so want someone else (anyone else, really) to fix these problems for us. And, the truth, over and over again, is that only as we change will the problems around us change (and fix themselves). If you are not happy with an aspect of your life, the best thing you can do is neutralize your judgment of it. That is when a miracle can emerge and a new way of being with that area of your life can show itself.
Let me be clear. This is NOT the time to DO nothing. This is the time to take inspired, aligned action to add to the solution, not the swirl. This is not the time to stop watching the news; to turn a blind eye; to not get involved because it is so toxic... this is the time to jump in fully, but jump in with a strong heart, a clear mind, and jump in to create a better solution that uplifts everyone involved for the highest good. This is definitely our time. This is the time to take meaningful action. Meaningful action comes from a place of peaceful love and true desire to heal, not from a place of pointing out the "right way" to the solution. If you are reading this blog, you probably know and have known... this is Our Time more than ever. The world has been waiting for us. And, as such, we have a strong responsibility to take meaningful action that at the least, causes no harm. And, at the most, transforms the situation into a place of love and healing.
Here is a spiritual practice to help you release your attachment to what "should" happen so that there is space for a miracle. This is very much in line with Byron Katie's the work and a Course in Miracles, looking for a change in perception.
1. Identify a person or group who is "not doing it right".
2. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half length-wise.
3. On the left hand side, write sentences about what the person is or is not doing. Write at least three sentences, leaving a bit of space between each of them.
4. On the right hand side, write how you are either doing or not doing the EXACT same thing. In order to come up with these, think about where you are holding back because you think someone else should. Where you are holding back, when written down, is a huge release that will allow for a miracle to come into the situation.
5. Take ownership for your behavior, and allow the miracle to emerge.
Here are some examples:
If Only I understood that I am in the perfect place right now.
If Only I trusted the Universe has the best plan for me.
If Only I could see how all of those "bad" decisions lead to the best moments of my life.
If Only I knew that this was perfect, exactly as it is.
If Only I would allow the miracle to show itself to me.
If Only I would understand that no one has it figured out. And, no one's life is how they expected it would be.
If Only I remembered there is someone out there who would LOVE to have my problems (all of them, in bulk, happily, joyfully).
If Only I remembered how much I have in any given moment, instead of the one thing that is missing.
If Only I realized that life is made up of the little moments and thoses are the ones to treasure.
If Only I could see how brilliant, wonderful, and amazing I am right now (I don't need anything else).
If Only I could see myself the way so many in my life see me - the real me.
If Only I took all the time I spend thinking, analyzing, and worrying and invested it in making the world a better place.
If Only I remembered that this time will fly by; I will not remember this incident; and that so much good comes at me at every moment.
I spend a lot of time manifesting. I spend a lot of time helping others manifest. Manifesting is a normal activity for me and I am always amazed at how well it works for me. Lately, my manifestations have gotten lightening fast. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I manifested the things I did. When I get something particularly fast, I analyze what I may have done differently to get it so quickly and then I share those tips with you. Recently, I noticed a deep connection between integrity and manifesting.
I was recently in a situation where I believe someone took advantage of me. It was the feeling I got in addition to the action that was taken. I'm doing a series of training classes, and as part of that, we have had the locations order in breakfast and lunch for the participants to have more time in training. I have asked them to order, and then payed for it myself (and i will be reimbursed by the client). Most places have ordered lunch around $200 (or less). One place, ordered lunch over $1000! WHAT?!?!? In addition, I kept asking for a receipt, and they never gave it to me, etc, etc.
Now, I am proud to say, I did what I would tell any of you to do:
1. I admitted that I have NO IDEA if they did this on purpose. Maybe this is a normal ordering lunch for them. I do not know what their intentions are, nor will I ever.
2. I noticed the story I was telling myself and asked if I could find facts to tell the EXACT OPPOSITE story, and of course, I could. I could find all the facts to tell the story of how they did this to provide participants with a good lunch to make the training and the company look good, etc.
And, then, this is what I concluded. They may get a very nice free lunch. And, they very well may deserve that very nice free lunch. They may have used this as an opportunity to get what they want (at the expense of someone else). And, if they did, the company will more than likely still pay for it without saying anything to them (a thought that was filling me with fire earlier). If they do, the gain will be a really nice lunch and the loss will be their integrity.
Losing your integrity is one of the most painful ways to be. Your integrity is everything. When manifesting, we tell ourselves a number of things that are not yet real in this 3D world, but that we are connecting with the energy of to be real. Sometimes, I say, I lie to myself for a living. In a post about integrity, this can sound really bad. So, why is it ok with manifesting? Because of the intention behind it. When we manifest, we tell ourselves something to create a desired outcome. Our mind, our body, our cells have to believe what we are saying and feel the way they would feel if we have it. In order to do that, they must connect with our words, thoughts, and feelings.
If our words, thoughts and feelings are unbelievable, because we have used them for short term personal gain, then no matter how well we apply the rules of manifesting, our own body will not believe it and thus will not allow our manifestation to come into reality. This month, I invite you to join me, as I really step up my integrity practice. Everything from complaining, blaming, finding fault, to thinking no one would notice if I just did this one little thing - you are probably right, no one would, but your integrity would suffer. I love to complain in my head. I love to get really dramatic and complain, complain, complain. I think it is ok, it is just in my head... but as Marianne Williamson says, "that is the worst place it can be!". This month, we want to keep "our heads" (i.e., our thoughts) as clean as possible. This month, we want focused thought on that which we do want and to clean out the junky mess of the thoughts that do not serve us and do not create the outcome we desire. It is Fall Cleaning time, y'all (I have been traveling to the South a lot recently). If you are not manifesting your desires, make a list of all of the ways, you are not in integrity in that area of your life, and commit, this month to doing one, simple action to improve your integrity with that area.
I love this song by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay called Something Just Like This. And, I love the message from a manifesting standpoint. Sometimes, we think we have to have it all figured out before starting. What I know about manifesting is that it is a process of failing forward. There is such a desire to understand how to, and study the masters, all great ideas to get the basics down, but at some point, you are clear what you want "something just like this" and have to trust that who you are today is good enough to get it. Knowing what you want it to feel like is the only component you really need to manifest. It is all about the feelings and when you relate to a feeling and can say, I want something just like this, you are ready to manifest. When we do, though, many times, we get caught you with how it is supposed to be and what we have and do not have. The song references superheros and fairytales and wanting things but not feeling like we have enough skills, knowledge, etc to get them.
I've been reading books of old
The legends and the myths
The testaments they told
The moon and its eclipse
And Superman unrolls
A suit before he lifts
But I'm not the kind of person that it fits
She said, where'd you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I'm not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can miss
I want something just like this
I want something just like this
The message of the song goes on to have someone affirm, I don't need all this, I just need you where you are today. That is a HUGE message. The reason that we get clear on our fairytale bliss and our superhero desire is to take action because right now, somewhere, there is someone waiting for what you have to share with the world. They need you where you are right now, not where you will be when you have it all figured out. The time to start being of service, to start creating and to start manifesting is now. You don't have to have it all figured out, knowing that you want "something just like this" is a great place to start. There is a good chance that the people that need you the most are right next to you right now. You don't have to go looking for them. Just start connecting with the energy of "I want something just like this" with everything you see that brings you joy, and the path will show itself to you with no effort!
One of the best, ever, success principles I learned and applied was to mimic the masters. I attribute my success in school and my career to finding the person who did it the best and copying what they did until it was second nature. At that point, I started adding my own Amina-flair and making it my own.
I am dedicating this blog to some of the conversations I have in my head, the things I say to myself, and especially the things I say to myself when I am faced with a situation that I find challenging. Over the past few weeks, I have been noticing the stories I tell myself when things do and do not go my way. I have been noticing the thoughts I think when I am happy and less-than-happy. It has been insightful to see my go-to thoughts and comments, when I am tired or unhappy and my go-to thoughts and comments, when I am happy and fulfilled.
Here are my favorite Master Manifestor thoughts and comments:
- I got this!
- This is going to be one of my best stories to tell when I figure this out.
- I am so proud of how far you have come.
- You... really... CAN... manifest... ANYTHING!
- Just try and see what happens.
- Ask your Angels to intervene and make it happen for you.
- Ok, God, just you and me - you can take over now!
- I get what I want.
- I always get what I want.
- I have the best luck!
- Things always work out for me!
- I always get paid!
- Money always finds me!
- Money is never an issue.
- I am so loved by everyone and everything in the Universe. I allow this love to wrap around me.
- Remember the time I manifested myself into the heart of Times Square on New Year's Eve? This is easier than that!
Here are a few of my favorites when I am feeling sad, frustrated or upset.
- If I could have anything I wanted right now, what would I want to be happening instead? Ok, God - all yours.
- What is the underlying feeling I am having right now? What can I do to feel a little bit better?
- Wow! This is REALLY not working out at all for me. I wonder if it is a sign it is not meant to be?
... But, I really want this. Ok... handing this over for a miracle.
- Dear God - I am not in my right mind right now. I am so __________ (scared, worried, frustrated, angry). Help me! Help me! I ask you to change my perspective. Help me see this entire situation differently. I know everything is here to serve. Please show me how this serves, because right now, I am feeling_________.
- Who could I ask for help with this?
- What other miraculous way could this get done?
And, finally... for the big dreams. The ones I can get paralyzed just thinking about.
-I AM A MASTER MANIFESTOR.
- Things ALWAYS work out for me.
- Thank God I do not need to know the HOW.
- I believe in miracles.
- This is too much for me right now. I am going to go do something else and let this work itself out to a bite size piece for me.
- Ick, that was not a very happy thought. Undo! Undo! Return to sender!
- I am so sorry. I love you so much. I will always be right here for you. Do not worry about how this is going. It will work itself out. There is nothing else you need to do right now. I love you.
Remember, you are whatever you say you are. If you want to be a Master Manifestor, like me, simply DECIDE that you ARE. Say to yourself, I AM A MASTER MANIFESTOR. And, use some of my statements to get out there and create the things you want with 0% effort, 100 return!
Want to learn to be a Master Manifest too? Check out my Coaching Programs to work with me one on one!
This is the time of year, where in the US, we pause and take a moment to celebrate our freedom. There is a different feeling in the air, it is lighter and happier as people relax more, connect more and enjoy the celebration of our independence. That feeling - the one of waking up and doing whatever sounds like fun, that is the essence of freedom. Freedom is a big word used in my coaching practice - people are looking for financial freedom, freedom from their problems, and freedom from feeling less than. The real place to gain our freedom is from our thoughts!
I am not the type of person who is against the ego, our mind, or our thoughts. While I definitely am very heart-centered, I choose to think of my heart as the Commander-in-Chief of one of the most powerful armies of the world, my mind. My heart knows where to go, what moves to make, and how to clearly meet the objectives for a peaceful life built around service. To get there, I need to strength of my mind. My mind is my best friend in that, when it gets a command from my heart, it can figure out exactly how to execute it to precision. It is truly amazing. In order to do that, I need to give my mind all the resources it needs to be fully successful, or at the very least, remove the obstacles in its path to success.
This month, I invite you to engage in a practice to amp up your love for your mind, its amazing ability to tell stories, the thoughts that it throws out there (mainly to protect you) that can be a huge stop sign, and all of the other little things it does that trip you up. Realize, that your mind is truly like a large Army. Willing and able to march in any direction at a moments notice, but, left with zero direction, will go in a million different ways all at once. This month, we practice building our freedom, by using the strongest tool in our toolkit, our mind. And, in order to do that, we start by nurturing it and giving it all the love and support it needs to continue to help us achieve every one of our dreams and heart's desires.
This month we build our ability to create freedom from the less than desired circumstances, by building up our biggest ally in creation, our mind. Here are some mind-loving practices:
1. Meditation - you have heard it, you know it is good, but you still are not doing it... I have been there! Take all the distress out of it. Take five minutes a day (set your timer) to just sit with stillness. There are a bazillion ways to meditate. Find a guided meditation/visualization (my favorite is Tree of Life with Jack Canfield, who he learned from Deirde Hade). Listen to some classical music and just get lost in the music. Stare out into space or nature. Walk a labyrinth (to find one near you go to labyrinthlocator.org).
Need a little pick me up? Want to let the Universe know what you are expecting and have it delivered? Check out my One Command video/prayer.
90-10 the practice that not only changed my life, but saved my life. I really, really, really do not like it when people are unhappy with me. Ok, not all people, just all the people that I care about (which is only the majority of the world's population, or roughly, everybody). It is painful, uncomfortable, icky. People used to tell me all the time, "Not everyone is going to like you, Amina." And, I would nod along to what I knew was true, but in my head, I would secretly think, "I could get them to like me if I really wanted to." And, in that thought, was born my co-dependent personality behavior. I can be happy, if everyone around me is also simultaneously happy. Unfortunately, people around me did not stay happy and thus really inconvenienced this Utopian way of life I wanted to live.
Worst of all - I caught myself in all kinds of manipulative behaviors to try to make other people happy, so that I, too, could be happy. This formula lead to a lot of unhappiness. Then, I was talking to Tamara Green, one of my favorite coaches in the whole world, and she asked me to practice 90/10. 90% of the time, I was to tend to my needs, my happiness, my wants, and my desires. 10% of the time, I was to tend to the needs, happiness, wants and desires of other people. I was living 90/10 already, just 90/10 the opposite direction. Tamara's advice seemed impossible, and I told her so. She reminded me it was a practice and a mindset and asked me to boldly take it on. She also had a lot of faith in my ability to do this (I, admittedly, had no faith in my ability to do this, but total faith in my willingness to try). I told a friend of mine about it, and she started practicing it right away to amazing results. As happy as I was for her, this did not help me. Now this was impossible and only worked for other people.
I tried hard to do 90/10. The only way I could practice it was by reading. When I was over giving, I would stop, go upstairs, pick up a book and read. I love to read. It brings me great joy. Leaving icky situations and reading was my 90/10 practice. I literally did not know how to practice giving myself 90% of my own attention. This was the only tangible thing I could think of to do to practice. Then the miracle happened. You know the miracle. It is the thing that only you can understand how miraculous it is. I could spend pages explaining it to you all in painstaking detail, and it would be like, "really, that is your miracle? That is my Tuesday afternoon." So... I won't do that. Instead, I will say, I was in a familiar position. Someone who I loved dearly was less than thrilled with me and I was unable to function. So upset that I had made a mistake. So upset that I had missed the signs they were sending and stepped into a crappy situation and made it worse. I could easily see every little thing I did wrong in this situation. And, I started to cry (also my go to) and then all of a sudden I stopped. I said to myself, you are ok. I got up, went to my room, got in bed, and started reading my book. I was so happy, engrossed in the story. I almost (but not quite) forgot that someone was even upset with me.
Since that miraculous night, I have not yet gone back. Sure, there are days when I am no where near 90/10, but they are few and far between. I have come to see how doing what is best for me, is truly best for every single person around me. When I am truly aligned to my purpose, my passion and my mission, the people around me are not inconvenienced, there is no sacrifice, we all win. I have no idea how the physics of this work, which is why I think it is a miracle. There have been numerous examples. Days where I have not felt like cooking happen to be the exact same day that my husband wanted to go out to dinner. Days I have not felt like working, clients have called to apologize and ask if we can reschedule. The Universe keeps showing up and taking care of me. 90/10 could also be called follow your joy.
The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy. If it is your dominant intent to hold yourself in vibrational harmony with who you really are, you could never offer any action that would cause anybody else to be unhappy. - Excerpted from Chicago, IL - Sunday, April 25th, 1999
The best part of all of this is how all of the relationships in my life have changed. Now, instead of thinking/feeling/saying, "don't you understand how hard this is for me and I could use some support...", I say, "this is hard for me, I need to take care of myself so I have the means to handle this situation." Everyone is off the hook. I GOT THIS! Yes, really I do. I am amazed at how many things I can handle. Things I thought were so scary are really not. As soon as I started practicing 90/10, I realized that I can handle more than I ever thought possible, which has sky rocketed my self confidence through the roof.
However, the first step was the hardest. That step required me to be very present. To hear what was being asked of me and to bravely follow my heart. These are steps I can do easily in many situations, but not when it comes to the people I love the most. I have a hard time saying no to them. I don't want to. I want to be there for them. What I realized is that I am capable of giving so much more to those that I love when I take great care of myself. This June, in Adventures with Amina (my free Facebook group), we are going to spend the month truly loving, honoring and taking care of ourselves, so that there is more us to give to the world! I hope you join us.
Learn more about Tamara Green at http://www.tamaragreen.me/
Hi! Welcome to my blog, Lunch with Cinderella. I love writing about my life experiences and the fact that they may help spur some cool experiences of your own. If you are here, leave a comment... I read them all and love hearing from you!
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